Distension
"You, Lord, are my consolation. You are my eternal Father, but I am scattered in times whose order I do not understand." (St. Augustine, Confessions XI.xxix)
When I recited the lines
From the poem I learned
In college, in my mind I retrieved
The buried verses from the creaking
Card catalog drawer where I keep
Such things (next to the pile
Of assorted song lyrics from T.V. shows
I watched when I was six), and squinting
As I held the card at arm's length,
Began to speak someone else's words.
I recalled every word and every line
That followed, marching on the heels
Of the last: disciplined squads of poetry
Issuing from my tongue.
And all the while, pronouncing every
Syllabic combination, my memory pressed
The single image unified--the beginning and the
End and every sound between--upward
Through the murky haze of time
To be illumined briefly, wholly by the light.
To know the end before you reach it, to direct
Each aspiration toward the expectation,
And in the end, to see the expectation
Consumed, the action finished and enfolded
Into memory: This, we are told, is the life
Of a man, and of men, and of poems.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
SUMMER!
It's here! Hooray! I got my grades all entered by 1:15 am this morning, and now I don't have to think about grading until September! Hooray!
In other news, Josh and I went on our first real trip together last weekend. We flew up to Spokane for our dear friend's wedding (Hi Emily and Simeon! You guys are amazing and adorable! We love you!) and we rented a car and everything like real adults. It was a lot of fun, except for all the layovers on the way up. I tried grading term papers in the airports, but didn't get a lot done. (Side note: funniest typo I found this quarter: "doe snot." I think the student meant "does not," but one can never be sure...maybe it's not that funny...I've been grading a LOT OF ESSAYS.) Back to Washington. It was really nice to get out of CA. I realized that I hadn't left the state since Oxford in 2007 (almost driving to Mexico on our honeymoon doesn't count). That's a long time.
In additional other news, we have a new kitten! His name is Theodoric (we call him Theo most of the time, and Dork-Dork the rest of the time). He's probably about two months old. He is black and white, like Ivan, and also came from Biola. Yes, Ivan is still around too. Ivan is terrified of people who are not Josh and myself. He acts mostly like a normal, friendly, sweet-tempered cat when it's just us, although he is a bit jumpy, but bring anyone else over to our place, and his tail is instantly between his legs and he makes a beeline for my bedroom closet or the bathroom. We found out yesterday when we were babysitting our nephew that Ivan is even more terrified of babies than he is of regular people. It's just a little ridiculous. Theo, on the other hand, is very friendly. He most often wants to be with people--laying on their laps, being held and cuddled by them, climbing up their legs, etc. When he's not doing that, he's usually gnawing on Ivan's ears. They get along really well, and often cry for one another during the night if they aren't in the same room, which is really sweet if you don't care about trying to sleep... I don't have pictures to post yet, but I will--give me a break, I graded for about 17 hours straight yesterday. I'll get to it when I've recovered a bit.
Over and out.
A.
In other news, Josh and I went on our first real trip together last weekend. We flew up to Spokane for our dear friend's wedding (Hi Emily and Simeon! You guys are amazing and adorable! We love you!) and we rented a car and everything like real adults. It was a lot of fun, except for all the layovers on the way up. I tried grading term papers in the airports, but didn't get a lot done. (Side note: funniest typo I found this quarter: "doe snot." I think the student meant "does not," but one can never be sure...maybe it's not that funny...I've been grading a LOT OF ESSAYS.) Back to Washington. It was really nice to get out of CA. I realized that I hadn't left the state since Oxford in 2007 (almost driving to Mexico on our honeymoon doesn't count). That's a long time.
In additional other news, we have a new kitten! His name is Theodoric (we call him Theo most of the time, and Dork-Dork the rest of the time). He's probably about two months old. He is black and white, like Ivan, and also came from Biola. Yes, Ivan is still around too. Ivan is terrified of people who are not Josh and myself. He acts mostly like a normal, friendly, sweet-tempered cat when it's just us, although he is a bit jumpy, but bring anyone else over to our place, and his tail is instantly between his legs and he makes a beeline for my bedroom closet or the bathroom. We found out yesterday when we were babysitting our nephew that Ivan is even more terrified of babies than he is of regular people. It's just a little ridiculous. Theo, on the other hand, is very friendly. He most often wants to be with people--laying on their laps, being held and cuddled by them, climbing up their legs, etc. When he's not doing that, he's usually gnawing on Ivan's ears. They get along really well, and often cry for one another during the night if they aren't in the same room, which is really sweet if you don't care about trying to sleep... I don't have pictures to post yet, but I will--give me a break, I graded for about 17 hours straight yesterday. I'll get to it when I've recovered a bit.
Over and out.
A.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Night
If you've never been to OldPoetry.com, and you like old poetry, you are missing out. Any time I feel like revisiting Chesterton's Ballad of the White Horse (every few months or so) I go there. And I browse. It's really great. I just discovered that they have Charles Williams' poetry there as well. I had been reading it on St. Silas the Martyr (http://www.saintsilas.org.uk/section/126), but this is much, much better. On his gravestone in Holywell cemetery in Oxford, he chose only to be known as "Poet." I don't think very many people read his poetry today, and it is a shame. Here's one of his poems I've been savoring lately:
Night
i. Christmas
Through His first darkness here He sleeps at ease
Happy and still, whose light is the sun's Sun;
And the rising day the portal sees
Whence issue and return the Three-in-One.
ii. Epiphany
Sleep takes Him, but a little His small eyes
Still search the room where the kings but lately were;
Small hands play with the gold; beside Him lies
The dull neglected casket of the myrrh.
iii. Maundy Thursday
Torches and lamps, now that day is done,
Another city than His own makes bright,-
Man's heart of terror: where by clouds the Sun
Is judged, condemned, obscured, and put to night.
iv. Good Friday
Farther than all created things He goes
Through the dim bottom and abyss of shades
Where the black wind of retribution blows;
Lo, peace! lo, joy! lo, 'tis Himself He raids.
v. Easter
Now night of night and Day of day returns
Upon the earth which but their image knew;
Which now in slumber and in waking learns
The double symbols of the only True.
vi. Prayer
Now rests the body and now rests the mind;
But for the soul the stars of heavenly things
Illumine space: a sweet celestial wind
Stirs in the lattice, and the sound of wings.
vii. The Dark Night of the Soul
Naked and stripped of all things but desire
(And even desire to its last sickness drawn)
The forlorn soul, crouched by a dying fire,
Remembers only that there once was dawn.
viii. The Consummation
Now the long day of His creation ends;
In that perfection which at first was willed
Activity its happy speed suspends.
Nothing is lost and nothing unfulfilled.
A
Night
i. Christmas
Through His first darkness here He sleeps at ease
Happy and still, whose light is the sun's Sun;
And the rising day the portal sees
Whence issue and return the Three-in-One.
ii. Epiphany
Sleep takes Him, but a little His small eyes
Still search the room where the kings but lately were;
Small hands play with the gold; beside Him lies
The dull neglected casket of the myrrh.
iii. Maundy Thursday
Torches and lamps, now that day is done,
Another city than His own makes bright,-
Man's heart of terror: where by clouds the Sun
Is judged, condemned, obscured, and put to night.
iv. Good Friday
Farther than all created things He goes
Through the dim bottom and abyss of shades
Where the black wind of retribution blows;
Lo, peace! lo, joy! lo, 'tis Himself He raids.
v. Easter
Now night of night and Day of day returns
Upon the earth which but their image knew;
Which now in slumber and in waking learns
The double symbols of the only True.
vi. Prayer
Now rests the body and now rests the mind;
But for the soul the stars of heavenly things
Illumine space: a sweet celestial wind
Stirs in the lattice, and the sound of wings.
vii. The Dark Night of the Soul
Naked and stripped of all things but desire
(And even desire to its last sickness drawn)
The forlorn soul, crouched by a dying fire,
Remembers only that there once was dawn.
viii. The Consummation
Now the long day of His creation ends;
In that perfection which at first was willed
Activity its happy speed suspends.
Nothing is lost and nothing unfulfilled.
A
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Brief
Lots of things have happened since the last time I really posted anything, and I just really haven't had the time to update. But for those of you who keep tabs on my medical situation, I figured I'd just write something quick. I went to the rheumatologist again yesterday (I was supposed to go back in early March, but then my grandmother passed away. It took this long to reschedule). My bloodwork from the end of February reported that my SED rate was down to 1. Yes, one. It was at 84 in October, 17 in December. My rheumatologist is ecstatic. He bragged about me to the office staff. But, he says, it's still important to begin the Humira injections in order to help prevent any further damage and to keep working at getting full range of motion back in my joints (for instance, my index fingers still can't quite touch my palm when I make a fist). So boo for home injections, yay recovery. Also, we were really worried about being able to afford this new medication, but it looks like there's a company that will supplement the percentage that our insurance pays for, so it shouldn't end up costing us more than $25 a month. This is a huge answer to prayer, because those things can be really super expensive.
One other huge answer to prayer: after the bad experience we had last year for housing and the rush to find a new place to live, we were a bit wary as May approached this year. I've seen a few eviction notices in our complex as it looks like many condo owners who are renting have decided to sell their units, and I kept thinking "what if that happens to us?" Josh was feeling a bit nervous about it all too, so we decided to be proactive about it and start talking to our landlord about renewing our lease agreement early so that we would have as much warning as we could in case there were any surprises. And there weren't. He likes us, he wants us to stay, rent stays the same. Hooray! I think I was hesitant to get too settled here this year in case something happened like last year, so we actually haven't hung anything on the walls yet. I'm going to start doing that. Maybe this week. It's really good to know we'll be here for at least another year. We like it here.
Over and out.
A
One other huge answer to prayer: after the bad experience we had last year for housing and the rush to find a new place to live, we were a bit wary as May approached this year. I've seen a few eviction notices in our complex as it looks like many condo owners who are renting have decided to sell their units, and I kept thinking "what if that happens to us?" Josh was feeling a bit nervous about it all too, so we decided to be proactive about it and start talking to our landlord about renewing our lease agreement early so that we would have as much warning as we could in case there were any surprises. And there weren't. He likes us, he wants us to stay, rent stays the same. Hooray! I think I was hesitant to get too settled here this year in case something happened like last year, so we actually haven't hung anything on the walls yet. I'm going to start doing that. Maybe this week. It's really good to know we'll be here for at least another year. We like it here.
Over and out.
A
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Responsible
That's me.
Grades: entered. It's not even 6 o'clock yet. I'm gonna go eat another fudgesicle and cuddle my poor wasp-stung kitty cat.
A
Grades: entered. It's not even 6 o'clock yet. I'm gonna go eat another fudgesicle and cuddle my poor wasp-stung kitty cat.
A
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Poetry and Words
We went to a Billy Collins reading last night at USC. Had I been affiliated with USC in any way, I would have felt pretty embarrassed about the event, and I would probably write him an apology letter. It seemed under-advertised and under-attended, and the introduction felt like an explanation or review of Collins' poetry delivered to an audience not expected to be familiar with his work. And the question and answer portion was abysmal.
A word of advice: don't pretend to have a question so that you can read a poem you just wrote five minutes ago on a napkin to a former poet laureate at his reading. This is not okay. Also, we are not impressed that you rhymed "you are my hero" with "Robert De Niro."
I might write Collins a note apologizing on behalf of California. Do students in other states have to be reminded not to text during poetry readings?
Seriously, though, the man was wonderfully gracious. He skillfully handled being accused of cowardice for using irony to cover up his mommy issues, and being requested to "also comment on Hip Hop Poems and The Twitter." Poor man. He looked so tired.
He has a new collection coming out next month that sounds really promising, and from the pieces he read, seems to be less depressingly focused on divorce.
Also, my tenth graders are starting poetry this week, which is excellent. Tenth graders, meet Eliot. Eliot, tenth graders. They got a VERY RAPID overview of poetic feet, meter, rhyme, etc. today, and they practiced scanning some lines. We'll start talking about content on Thurs. They'll hit Four Quartets next week, at which point their brains will be overloaded with beauty, and all shall be well, and / All manner of thing shall be well.
The result of all of the above: I've had poetry and words on the brain a lot lately. When this happens, I sometimes find words running through my head. Sometimes they are other people's words; sometimes I'm not sure if they are mine or someone else's (I know a few other people who have this problem). Today my brain was chewing on the phrase "histrionic casualty." I ran a Google search, and it doesn't seem to belong to anyone else. I'm not even sure what it would mean. I like the idea of "histrionic casualness" better (I like to think of the sort of things one might say "with a certain histrionic casualness"), but the cadence of the original is more appealing, though the meaning is more obfuscated and maybe morbid.
What is a histrionic casualty?
1. Perhaps an event so unbelievably coincidental that it seems it must have been staged (but really is coincidental)?
2. Someone with a martyr complex who dies as a result of some unfortunate tragedy?
3. Someone who is hopelessly melodramatic?
What do you think? (And does this ever happen to you?)
A
A word of advice: don't pretend to have a question so that you can read a poem you just wrote five minutes ago on a napkin to a former poet laureate at his reading. This is not okay. Also, we are not impressed that you rhymed "you are my hero" with "Robert De Niro."
I might write Collins a note apologizing on behalf of California. Do students in other states have to be reminded not to text during poetry readings?
Seriously, though, the man was wonderfully gracious. He skillfully handled being accused of cowardice for using irony to cover up his mommy issues, and being requested to "also comment on Hip Hop Poems and The Twitter." Poor man. He looked so tired.
He has a new collection coming out next month that sounds really promising, and from the pieces he read, seems to be less depressingly focused on divorce.
Also, my tenth graders are starting poetry this week, which is excellent. Tenth graders, meet Eliot. Eliot, tenth graders. They got a VERY RAPID overview of poetic feet, meter, rhyme, etc. today, and they practiced scanning some lines. We'll start talking about content on Thurs. They'll hit Four Quartets next week, at which point their brains will be overloaded with beauty, and all shall be well, and / All manner of thing shall be well.
The result of all of the above: I've had poetry and words on the brain a lot lately. When this happens, I sometimes find words running through my head. Sometimes they are other people's words; sometimes I'm not sure if they are mine or someone else's (I know a few other people who have this problem). Today my brain was chewing on the phrase "histrionic casualty." I ran a Google search, and it doesn't seem to belong to anyone else. I'm not even sure what it would mean. I like the idea of "histrionic casualness" better (I like to think of the sort of things one might say "with a certain histrionic casualness"), but the cadence of the original is more appealing, though the meaning is more obfuscated and maybe morbid.
What is a histrionic casualty?
1. Perhaps an event so unbelievably coincidental that it seems it must have been staged (but really is coincidental)?
2. Someone with a martyr complex who dies as a result of some unfortunate tragedy?
3. Someone who is hopelessly melodramatic?
What do you think? (And does this ever happen to you?)
A
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Time for another episode of...
...Updating because I haven't done it in a while and feel guilty!
Yay!
A
Yay!
- HitWW has been going smoothly. No food poisoning to speak of yet, and we are often forced to try things that wouldn't have been our first choices from the menu. Some of them are unpronounceable. Some of them don't have English translations. We thrive on the unknown.
- Teaching is going really well. When I emailed a student today to see if she would be willing to meet with our staff once a week for an extra 20 or 30 minutes to help her plan and write her next term paper, her response was, and I quote, "Oh! Wow! That sounds like a GREAT idea! I'd LOVE to do that! That would be such a big help!!!!" (Excessive exclamation marks and capitalization hers.) She's a tenth grader. She wants to give up some of her free time to work ahead on her term paper with us. Seriously, we have the best students. Also, I'm current on all of my grading. My guilt quota is normally spent on not returning papers in a timely manner, so I guess it gets spent here when I'm on top of things. Heh.
- I have been knitting LIKE A FIEND. Hats, scarves, gloves, slippers, lacework, you name it.
- Similarly, did you know how easy pillowcases are to make (I'm talking throw pillow covers)? I didn't until last weekend! It took less than ten minutes to sew one. I'm embroidering it too, so the project isn't done yet. But when it is, I will post pictures.
- Culinary endeavors: I highly recommend this recipe from Alpineberry if you have any extra meyer lemons sitting around. Hubs doesn't like cake, but he even said these were a major win. Also, roasted root vegetables: so delicious, so easy. Can I have them every night, please?
- In other news, Ivan managed to rip a curtain rod wall mount from the wall today. There weren't even any curtains up. It was screwed into the wall by three screws 7 or 8 feet from the ground. Figure that one out.
- I have been reading, and not just for classes, which is really super great. I mean, revisiting Dante, Aquinas, Boethius, Lewis, Sayers, Eliot, etc. is great, but it's really nice to read some new things of my own choosing. Finished in the last two months:
- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (Jonathan Safran Foer) [startling, sad, gripping]
- Re-read the Hunger Games series (Suzanne Collins) [love me some good YA]
- Paper Towns (John Green) [see above]
- Save the Cat! The last book on screenwriting you'll ever need (Blake Snyder) [basic in a lot of ways, but really good at talking about marketability and practical ways to improve your story]
- Currently reading: Canticle for Liebowitz (Walter Miller) [Guys, this book is seriously awesome. Monks preserving literacy in a post-nuclear world. What more could you want?], In the Company of Others (Julie Czerneda) [not sure I'll finish this one. been working on it for several months. over halfway through, and I'm still not hooked.], Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (Annie Dillard) [Like drinking a cool glass of water from that well you drank from as a child.].
- Next on the list: The Great Gatsby. Never read it before (everyone else read it in high school. My high school made me read Hobbes, Montesquieu, and Tocqueville instead). Looking forward to it.
A
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