Martha Stewart: FAIL

Remember that post a while back when I was complaining about the scorching heat and wanting to bake delicious fall dainties? Well, I finally got around to attempting that Boston Scream cake. The result? Anna wins. Martha LOSES LIKE A BIG LOSER.

The plan: delicious chocolate pumpkin cake with cream filling and chocolate glaze for dessert at my family's weekly Saturday dinner.

The execution: So, realizing that I actually don't own round cake pans, I decided that I could probably successfully adjust the recipe in order to make cream filled cupcakes, Ming Makes Cupcakes style. I cut the cake batter recipe in half (since 12 cupcakes would be enough for my family), and adjusted cooking time. The cupcakes turned out fine. Nice and moist.

Then I moved on to the cream. It was supposed to be a spiced pastry cream. What it turned out to be was a lumpy, jiggly, disgusting mess. Twice. That's right, after the first failed attempt, I thought that perhaps I had measured the ingredients incorrectly, or perhaps I had neglected an important step in the cooking process, or maybe the heat was too high. Nope. After carefully measuring each ingredient and obeying each instruction AND turning the heat to low instead of the suggested medium, it still came out lumpy and gross, like someone had dropped some scrambled eggs into thick spiced milk. Not appetizing, and not something you want to put inside cupcakes. I abandoned the recipe and whipped up some spiced whipped cream instead.

"Perhaps someone wrote the recipe wrong on the site," I think to myself, and turn to begin Martha's recipe for the chocolate glaze. My theory, however, is revised shortly after. Once I realize that the proportions the recipe has called for are essentially just producing chocolate milk, I decide that Martha is trying to fool me into making a horrible baked monstrosity filled with evil and topped with soggy. She wants me to fail and to feel inferior and small. I say NO, dump out most of the milk, and continue on and make my own superior ganache, sans recipe.

I topped the cupcakes with the ganache, let it set a bit, and then put a dollop of the spiced whipped cream on top. Came out pretty tasty.

All this to say: I'm on to you, Martha.


A