Dear Fridge,
Thank you for keeping our perishables moderately cool. In order to help maintain a higher level of comfort in our home, we are instituting two new rules. In the future, please refrain from peeing on the floor. Also, please refrain from headbutting members of the house and causing nausea-inducing head pain. These are house rules which everyone must obey.
Sincerely,
Members of the House
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